Thursday, December 7, 2023
Farewell
Monday, November 27, 2023
Friday, November 10, 2023
I Can't Tell You
Once upon a time, a young man in Illinois won the
lottery. The Vietnam Draft Lottery. Number 31 to be exact. Luckily for this fella, he excelled in
science and mathematics while in high school and maxed out on the written tests
given him at the induction center. He
tested so well that the United States Air Force offered him a job as a “Radio
Communications Analyst Specialist.” When
he inquired about what that job entailed, his Sergeant just said, “I have no
idea. It is top secret.” And so, off our youthful Airman went on his
“Top Secret” adventure. First, he spent
a year on a tiny 2-mile by 4-mile piece of rock, nestled between the Pacific
Ocean and Bering Sea, in the Aleutian Islands … Shemya, Alaska. This tiny speck of tundra was 15-hundred
miles from Anchorage and 200 miles from Russia.
Wonder what he did there? Can’t
tell you. It’s top secret. Then it was
on to Iraklion Air Station on Crete, Greece for the next 18 months. An Air Force station so small, it didn’t even
have a runway. Besides enjoying the
beauty of Greece and the Mediterranean, wonder what he did there? Can’t tell you. It’s top secret. And finally, on Independence Day in 1974 our
Air Force Sergeant (how he was promoted, we will never know) was discharged
from the military. When he asked the
Captain during his exit interview what he should tell future employers about his
Air Force job, the Captain replied, “tell them you were a clerk typist.” So, that’s the story the young man was told
to tell by his superiors, and he is sticking to it. Oh yeah, one more thing. The Captain at the exit interview must have
known something, because a month or two after leaving the Air Force, the then
college student was notified by the NSA and CIA that he should apply for a job
with them. Who knew that there would be
a shortage of “clerk typist” at that time?
Apparently, that Captain did.
However, the college freshman passed on the generous offers from the NSA
and CIA and proceeded to graduate with a BS degree. And he lived happily ever after BS-ing his
way to limited fame and even more limited fortune.
Spiff Carner
Sergeant
USAF February 1971 – July 1974
Saturday, June 17, 2023
♫ And I only have eyes for you ♫
The Hair of the Dog
*No relation to Captain Jack Sparrow
Sunday, June 11, 2023
Free Bird
Sunday, June 4, 2023
Is Heaven a one-way street?
Saturday, June 3, 2023
Thursday, May 25, 2023
Jurassic Dark
Friday, May 19, 2023
Saturday, May 13, 2023
The September of My Years
Wednesday, May 10, 2023
Ut-oh!
Monday, May 8, 2023
Hibiscus Stigma
Friday, May 5, 2023
How I got into radio
What did you want to do after leaving high school or graduating from college? Did you achieve your dream or go in a totally different direction? What’s your story? Here is mine.
While in high school, a career in radio was the furthest thing from my mind. It was the mid-60s, the Space Race with the Russians was in high gear, and I wanted to be part of it. I was always good at math and science, so I decided being an aeronautical engineer would be a great way to join the team at NASA in their quest to put a man on the moon and travel to the stars. Heck, I even had not one, but two slide rules. I breezed through Algebra, Geometry and Advanced Algebra. I went to summer school before my senior year to take Solid Geometry and Trigonometry in order to take a college level Calculus class before graduating high school. But then it happened. Calculus stopped me faster than a bug hitting my 66 Mustang’s window at 70mph. I was completely lost. What’s a science/math geek to do? It’s obvious … change my career plans to … RADIO? Let me explain. I was a huge St. Louis Cardinals baseball fan growing up. I would listen (on my transistor radio) to Jack Buck and Harry Caray call the games on KMOX. I love baseball and thought I too could become a play-by-play announcer. So, I somehow convinced my parents that by attending “Career Academy of Famous Broadcasters” in Milwaukee, that in a few short months I would become the next Vin Scully. (I’m sure that I showed Mom and Dad some mathematical formula proving my theory.) Well, the sports announcer thing did not pan out (that is another story,) but after graduating from Career Academy, I did land a job in radio in a small midwestern town. And although I did not achieve my dream of shooting for the stars, I did manage to rub elbows with the stars of stage, screen, sports, and Rock’n Roll. What a rocket ride it has been.
Spiff (I sucked at calculus) Carner