Monday, June 30, 2008

Possible Job?

I am PROUD to be an AMERICAN! So, I may be qualified for this job. Thanks to Bill Naivar for throwing my hat into the ring.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Still Trying To Sniff Out A Job

Actually, this is a cavalry horse at Kennesaw Mountain. It was the 144th Battle Anniversary this weekend with infantry, artillery and cavalry demonstrations.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Front Porch Friend

Imagine my surprise when I saw this Red Fox (not the comedian) looking into our house this afternoon. He seemed quite inquisitive. Pretty unusual to have one on our front porch in the middle of the day. He must have been a fan of mine when I worked at Fox 97.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Independence Day Quiz

Think you know enough to be an American citizen? Click here and take this quiz to find out. Get 24 of the 30 questions correct and you pass! Let us all know how you do with our weekly poll.

(Thanks to Pace)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Why "Y"?

-The Silent generation ... people born before 1945.

-The Baby Boomers ... people born between 1945 and 1961.

-Generation X ... people born between 1962 and 1976.

-Generation Y ... people born between 1977 and 1989.

Why do we call the last one generation Y?

Congress has your back! (Yeah, right)

(Thanks to Pace)

Friday, June 20, 2008

Story Time: "The Happy Lady"

A doctor on his morning walk noticed a lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, 'I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret?'

'I smoke ten cigars a day,' she said. 'Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, run around with men, and don't exercise at all.'

'That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?'

'Twenty-four,' she replied.
(Thanks to Lanny Lipsky)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Today's Headlines

McCain calls for building 45 new nuclear reactors

Obama says bin Laden must not be a marty
((Ooops, my bad ... martyr, not marty))

Monday, June 16, 2008

My Next Job?

As I continue my efforts to land a radio job in Atlanta, I am also searching for ways to get a little cash inflow. I'm thinking that there will soon be an opening at this job ...

(Thanks to Barry Blakely for this.)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Another choice for President?

(Thanks to Steve Kerr for finding this)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Friday, June 13, 2008

Story Time: "These Aren't My Boots"

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet.
He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em. "
Now the teacher didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens? He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

The teacher will be out of the psych ward in about three years.

(Thanks to Jay Fimple)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Now that's funny!

Jimmy Kimmel talking about the Boston Celtics-L.A. Lakers series: “The last time these teams met, gas was 92 cents a gallon, Mike Tyson was the heavyweight champion of the world and John McCain had just started collecting social security.”

The Year ... 1969

When I graduated from high school ...

DJIA High: 952
DJIA Low: 769

Cost of a new home: $27,900.00 (Less than most cars today)

Median Household Income: $8,389.00 (More than I'm making right now.)

Cost of a gallon of regular gas: $0.35 (You kiddin' me!!!)

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Greatest Movie Line Ever

Rug Merchants of Crete

I bought two ... rugs. (This was in 1973 when the dollar was worth something.) Location is everything to a successful business. That and low overhead.

'Rug Merchants of Crete"

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Bad Day in Cubical World

(Note: This video has no audio)

Have you ever had a tough day at the office?

Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane - Watch more free videos

Friday, June 6, 2008

Drinking was involved!

Did you hear about the guy in Pennsylvania who had to be rescued from a Porta-Potty? Seems that a rescue crew had to cut apart the portable toilet to reach a man who got stuck NAKED inside the potty. Apparently the man used his cell phone to call 911 from inside the toilet. Police say the man had been drinking and had taken off his clothes and somehow, he immersed himself in the holding tank.

My question ... where was he keeping his cell phone????

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Future News!

I was in the basement yesterday and I uncovered the old Fox 97 Time Machine. A little tinkering here and there and guess what? It still is in working order. From now on though it will be known as the Spiff Happens Time Machine. Anyway, I cranked that baby up and you can't imagine what kind of crazy news stories I found in the future. Just look at these ...

August 2008: In a surprise move at the Democratic National Convention, delegates voted for a joint presidential ticket of O’bama-Clinton where, if elected, O’bama would be President Monday, Wednesday and Friday while Clinton would be Commander and Chief on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Sunday’s would alternate between Edwards, Kerry and Gore … Lesley Gore.
September 2008: The first Presidential Debate between O’bama and McCain (the debate was on a Wednesday) was a huge ratings disappointment as superstation TBS garnered almost 90% of viewers with a “Different Strokes” marathon.
October 2008: The scariest and most popular Halloween costume of the year was that of Oil Company Executives.
November 2008: In what was considered a mild upset, “None of the Above” won the Presidential election over McCain-O’bama/Clinton.
March 2009: After two months of “None of the Above” running the country, gas prices had fallen to $1.73 a gallon, the Iraqi war was winding down with troops on their way home, the stock market broke the 15000 barrier and “Different Strokes … the Movie” smashed all box office records.

Why I was banned from Greece.

1) Total disregard of historic artifacts.

2) Extreme distaste in pants.

(circa 1973)

Monday, June 2, 2008

"MOM!!! He's touching my side of the nest!!!"

Even bird siblings often annoy their parents.