Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her." Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this," She calls immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
(Thanks to Angeleen)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
You put it on the line for us
We won’t forget, you are A-Plus
This country stands because of you
Your service seals red white, and blue
No better troops embrace this earth
Thank God for you, our greatest worth
We pray for you both night and day
God be with you along your way
You wear your uniform with pride
And use your skills, so well applied
The rank you hold does mean one thing
You’re a GI and you are first-string
Be well assured we back you strong
How proud we say ‘that you belong’
Without your will - to walk the walk
We’d have no right - to talk the talk
Friday, November 7, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A U.S. Coast Guard Air Station Kodiak MH-60 Jayhawk rescues four survivors from the 92-foot fishing vessel Katmai 100 miles west of Adak in the Aleutian Islands.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The next evening the farmer turned on his new HDTV and found only political ads on every channel. The next morning he turned the TV on and found only political ads again.
When he came in to eat lunch he tried the TV again but still only found political ads.
The next day when he still found only political ads he called the store to complain. The owner said that it was impossible for every channel to only have political ads, but agreed to send their repairman to check the HD TV.
When the TV repairman turned on the TV he found that the farmer was right. After looking at the TV for a while he went outside to check the antenna. In a few minutes he returned and told the farmer he had found the problem.
The antenna had been installed on top of the windmill and grounded to the manure spreader.
(Thanks again to Bill Naivar)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil
show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.' So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my
old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how good I feel right now!
Monday, October 6, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Once upon a time a senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. 'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Georgia State Trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this,' and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.' The old gentleman paused. Then said, 'Years ago, my wife ran off with a Georgia State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.' ''Have a good day, sir,' replied the trooper.
(Thanks to Charlotte)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
How would you like a True Oldies 106.7 "Workday Shout Out" to your office or place of work during the "Spiff & Fred Show"? It's easy to do. Just drop me an email with your name, company name and location. I'll take care of the rest and then we'll give you a SHOUT OUT during the "Spiff & Fred Show", 3-7 weekday afternoons.
Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO TREAT A MAN:
Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns and Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba - Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Hey gang! Join me, Fred, Wayne "No Offence" and the True Oldies 106.7 gang at "The Taste of Kennesaw" ... Saturday 9/6 ... 11a-8p ... Live concert beginning at 8p with "The Great American Rock and Roll Revival." I'll be there starting around 6p. Click here for more information.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. “Tony, do you have a story to share?” the teacher asked.
“Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Aunt Karen when she was a pilot in the Air Force and her plane got shot down.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down to calm her nerves.
However, her parachute ended up landing right in the middle of the enemy troops. So she shot fifteen of them with her gun until she ran out of bullets then killed four more with her knife and then she killed the last Taliban fighter with her bare hands.”
“Good Heavens” said the horrified teacher. “What kind of moral did your daddy try and tell you from this horrible story?”
“He told me to stay the heck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking.”
((Thanks to Judy Cullen))
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well and given me benefits beyond belief.
I have 3-4 months off per year, a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about.
Despite this, I plan to take the next 12-18 months to find a new position.
During this time, I will show up for work when it is convenient. In addition, I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be back with no loss in pay or status. Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in the matter. I can and will do this.
Every Senator or Congressman running for President.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Asked his occupation, Olaf said, 'Panty stitcher. I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties.'
The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Olaf $300 a week in unemployment compensation.
Sven, when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel fitter.'
The clerk looked up diesel fitter...and it was classified as a skilled job. So, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week in unemployment compensation.
When Olaf found this out, he was furious! He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his benefits.
The clerk explained, 'Panty stitchers are unskilled labor and diesel fitters are skilled labor.'
'Vat skill?' yelled Olaf. 'I sew da elastic on da panties. Olaf puts dem over his head and says,
'Yah...... DIESEL FITTER.'
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I'll be on the road this coming Saturday 3-5pm at the Publix in Flowery Branch. Stay tuned for more details.