Once upon a time, a young man in Illinois won the
lottery. The Vietnam Draft Lottery. Number 31 to be exact. Luckily for this fella, he excelled in
science and mathematics while in high school and maxed out on the written tests
given him at the induction center. He
tested so well that the United States Air Force offered him a job as a “Radio
Communications Analyst Specialist.” When
he inquired about what that job entailed, his Sergeant just said, “I have no
idea. It is top secret.” And so, off our youthful Airman went on his
“Top Secret” adventure. First, he spent
a year on a tiny 2-mile by 4-mile piece of rock, nestled between the Pacific
Ocean and Bering Sea, in the Aleutian Islands … Shemya, Alaska. This tiny speck of tundra was 15-hundred
miles from Anchorage and 200 miles from Russia.
Wonder what he did there? Can’t
tell you. It’s top secret. Then it was
on to Iraklion Air Station on Crete, Greece for the next 18 months. An Air Force station so small, it didn’t even
have a runway. Besides enjoying the
beauty of Greece and the Mediterranean, wonder what he did there? Can’t tell you. It’s top secret. And finally, on Independence Day in 1974 our
Air Force Sergeant (how he was promoted, we will never know) was discharged
from the military. When he asked the
Captain during his exit interview what he should tell future employers about his
Air Force job, the Captain replied, “tell them you were a clerk typist.” So, that’s the story the young man was told
to tell by his superiors, and he is sticking to it. Oh yeah, one more thing. The Captain at the exit interview must have
known something, because a month or two after leaving the Air Force, the then
college student was notified by the NSA and CIA that he should apply for a job
with them. Who knew that there would be
a shortage of “clerk typist” at that time?
Apparently, that Captain did.
However, the college freshman passed on the generous offers from the NSA
and CIA and proceeded to graduate with a BS degree. And he lived happily ever after BS-ing his
way to limited fame and even more limited fortune.
Spiff Carner
Sergeant
USAF February 1971 – July 1974
1 comment:
In all the years I listened to you on the radio I don't think I even knew this. Thank you for your service to our country. It's been years, but I still miss listening to you and Randy in the morning.
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