The TOP FIVE reasons why David Letterman is retiring in 2015:
5--Microphone emits feedback every time it gets close to Dave's "First Alert" necklace.
4--Dave is completely exhausted by number six while doing the Top Ten List.
3--4:30PM taping time right in the middle of the Early Bird Special at Bernie's Buffet.
2--Even at 82 degrees in the Ed Sullivan Theater, Dave still feels chilled.
And the number one reason why David Letterman is retiring in 2015:
1--Got himself a very sweet deal on a Fixed Indexed Annuity.