Merry Christmas!

Falcons fall to 3 - 10.

This just in: Fulton County Commissioners call emergency session to contact Cobb County and beg that they return the Braves in exchange for the Falcons!

A date which will live in infamy

Happy Turkey Day!

Number One Pick

If you had the #1 NFL draft pick, who would you choose? I'm asking for a friend who works for the Atlanta Falcons.

Braves moving to Cobb County!

The main reason the Braves plan to move to Cobb County in 2017. Much easier to give directions to the new stadium ... "Just down the road from the Big Chicken."

Thank You!

Problem Solvers?

Whenever I am in southern Missouri visiting my folks, who have no WiFi or cable TV, we often sit under the very old hickory tree and solve the world problems. Since it seems there are more problems in the world today than ever before, we have apparently been doing a lousy job.

 

D'oh!

Major misunderstanding on the part of the Atlanta Falcons. Instead of falling back one hour today, they fell back 13 years to become the team they were in 2000.

Just Relax

(From my friend Mike)

In case you had a rough week, here's a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.
3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so clear that you can make out the face of the politician you are holding underwater.

See it worked. You're smiling. You feel better already.

Affordable Tax Payment Act

I am planning on opening a website on December 1, 2013. The government will then have the opportunity to navigate my site, and request that I pay taxes to them in 2014. If they prefer, they may keep their current tax system if they are happy with it.

Warning:

A ... My system may crash at any given time or have links that lead to nowhere in particular.

B ... I lied about the government being able to keep the current tax system they now enjoy.

C ... If, for some odd reason, the government does get my website to work, they will encounter “sticker shock” informing them that I will be paying 40-60% less tax than they expected.

When gas was 26 cents a gallon

The year was 1948.  And on October 26th of that year ... my folks got married.  Happy 65th Wedding Anniversary Mom & Day!!  I love you so much.

The Shut Down!

Here's an idea. Open everything that the government has shut down. And then shut down Congress, the Senate, and the White House. Problem solved.

The day after Columbus Day

Little known Christopher Columbus fact: Christopher's original name was Cristoforo Colombo. Lucky for us Christopher changed his name. Otherwise we would be celebrating "Peter Falk" Day.

Atlanta Sports

Just discovered that both the Falcons and Braves work for the government and "shut down."

Game Day!

Congrats to the Braves!

Bella

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” -- Roger Caras

Thanks "Bella" for the unconditional love you gave to everyone, especially to Bevan and Meredith. You will be deeply missed.

911

09.06.13 News You Can't Use!

Spider Web Rules and Regulations

Chapter 6, page 31 of the SPIDER HANDBOOK: "When building a sticky web in a National Park, make every effort to construct that web approximately face-high to the average adult human. Also, place that web in a fairly high traffic area for best results and tons of laughs."

Game Day!!!

Here is hoping that Coach Mark Richt is as successful against Clemson Saturday night as I was when I coached the Dawgs to a last minute victory back in 1992.

Have Headsets ... Will Travel.

Hey gang ... it's yet another guest appearance for me on the radio tomorrow Friday morning from 6-9 or 10 on Magic 102.1 in Athens! I'll be sitting in on the "Allen & Beth" show. I believe Beth is taking the day off, so I will play her part on the radio. I am already picking out something sexy to wear. Allen insisted. You can listen LIVE online HERE 

If you get a chance, give us a listen ... or give us a call if you wish. Thanks!

08.28.13 News You Can't Use!

GEICO Camel's 15 minutes of fame is UP!

Whooo-Hooo!

Spiff on the radio Saturday!

Hey gang! Join me Saturday from 3-6pm on WSB (95.5 FM and AM 750). I'll be joining the multi-talented Mark Arum during his always interesting talk show. Listen in and give us a call if you have the time ... (404) 872-0750.

The Death of Elvis. Where were you?

Do you remember where you were or what you were doing when you heard about the death of Elvis 36 years ago today? It appears he is still making money (unlike me) as I saw this ad on the Square in Marietta just a few days ago. As for me ... I was attending college at Southern Illinois University, driving home after classes in my 73 Mustang when I heard the news on the radio.

My PED Confession

Well, with all of these MLB suspensions of players for PED use. And with all the very sad lying and denying by guys like Braun and A-Rod, I decided to come clean before my past catches up with me. I am ashamed of my actions to say the least, but want to clear the air in advance of any official probe into my past. While working as a morning DJ in Atlanta I was hopelessly addicted to PED’s. Yes, Performance Enhancing Donuts. Sure, almost everyone I knew doing morning radio were on PED’s, but that is no excuse. And sure management turned a blind eye toward the obvious use of these dangerous pastries. Heck, there were many times when boxes of PED’s were passed around the building and left open on the table in the break room. But still, not a word was spoken by those in charge. Did PED’s help my game? I can’t say for sure, but during a hot morning show topic with every in-studio phone line blinking, that shot of sugar surely didn’t hurt. Was I fooling myself? Most likely. But in a world where ratings meant everything, it was so very easy to convince myself that to be on an even playing field with my competition (who I am sure were on PED’s), any extra “help” could only be beneficial to me. With this admission of PED use, the Georgia Radio Hall of Fame will most likely take a closer look at my 2011 induction. But a word of warning to the powers that be at the GRHOF. Performance Enhancing Donuts were widely used by DJ’s going all the way back to the 1950’s. No doubt almost every single inductee into the Hall of Fame has on more than one occasion used PED’s. Finally, I apologize to my loyal listeners, my co-workers, my morning show partner Randy (also a PED user), and my family for my lack of judgment involving PED’s. I am sorry. --Spiff Carner

Fawn feeding time on Kennesaw Mountain

08.01.2013 News You Can't Use!

Royal Baby

To celebrate the birth of Kate and William's son ... I believe I will dine at Burger King tonight.

07.21.13 News You Can't Use!

"Bomber" on the cover of the Rolling Stone?

07.16.13 News You Can't Use!

07.15.13 News You Can't Use!

07.14.13 News You Can't Use!

07.12.13 News You Can't Use!

Happy Birthday America!

Rock Climber? FAIL!

Pigeon Hill in Kennesaw Mountain Battlefield Park.

 

Can you hear me now?

In the old days if one wished to contact the government they would write to the President, their Representative or their Senator, never knowing if the complaint or question they had arrived or if it would ever be read. Today all you have to do is text your concerns to a friend or send an email to anyone you know and PRESTO … the government has received your correspondence! Now that’s progress. What a great country!!!

"Blue Belly" spotted at Georgia Civil War Battlefield!

As a member of the spiny lizard family, the Fence lizard is the only lizard native to Georgia and South Carolina that has rough scales. During the breeding season, males have bright blue patches on their chin and underside. (This may explain why he appeared to be very interested in my leg!)--Kennesaw Mountain National Battlefield

 

This Just In!

What is wrong with people? I just received a Rice-N-Roni tainted letter mailed from somewhere in San Francisco.

Memorial Day 2013

(Marietta National Cemetery, Marietta, GA)

Well, I am on my own for a few days as Janet has gone to visit Meredith and Bevan in Austin, TX. Of course, Janet was worried that I would not "eat right" while she was gone and that I did not know how to properly prepare a meal. This will hopefully ease her mind.

Time Travel Tuesday ... 1972 Shemya, Alaska

Meredith & Bevan 04.20.2013

CLICK HERE for a slide show of some of my photos from my daughter's wedding and reception.  Can't wait to see the Professional Photos!

Inside Info?

Here is my mom getting some "Inside Information" on who will win the Kentucky Derby.

In the blink of an eye ...

Meredith & Bevan 4.20.2013

Ahhhhhhhhh-choooooooo!

Today's pollen count in Atlanta is 8,024 particles per cubic meter of air — the third highest ever. That is definitely something to sneeze about!

Play Ball!

D'oh!!!

Due to government sequester cuts the Easter Bunny has been furloughed and will be replaced by the Easter Doe. That is all.

Deer Safety Class

Just around the corner!

March Madness ... Vatican Style

What to do?

Harrison Ford Returns to STAR WARS!

Happy Valentine's Day!

17 years ago Janet said YES!!!! I love you Janet. You are and will always be my Valentine!

March Madness???

Now THIS is what I call "March Madness"!  Join me for an afternoon you will not forget! Tickets now available.  CLICK HERE to get yours!  See you on March 2nd!!!

For that SPECIAL Someone ...

Here is a unique and fun gift idea for your Valentine!  CLICK HERE for information and to sign up.