Captain America

In fear of offending anyone who dislikes the #USA, #CaptainAmerica will be changing his name to "Captain #PoliticalCorrectness" on Friday.

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) March 31, 2016

Forrest, the Corgi Comic!

Non-Silent Tribute

As I walk past the headstones at Marietta National Cemetery I often read the engraved names out loud. Most of these brave men and women have not had their names spoken in countless years. It is simply my non-silent way of thanking these heroes for the freedom I have enjoyed my entire life.

Forrest, the Corgi Comic

Johnny Football

#JohnnyManziel has been released by the #Browns. Hope this doesn't drive him to drink. #JohnnyFootball #NFL #football #blewit

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) March 11, 2016

Sharknado

You know what is more terrifying than #Sharknado4? #PresidentialCandidates 16. #scary #politicians #Democrats #GOP #movies

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) March 9, 2016

Blue Man Group

If you are #fired from the #BlueManGroup, do they give you a pink slip?

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) March 7, 2016

Forrest, the Corgi Comic!

Something smells?

Something interesting today when I #voted. Poll workers handed out red or blue #clothespins to put on your nose when you voted. #Primary

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) February 25, 2016

Forrest, the Corgi Comic

Stay in Vegas

Don't you wish that all the politicians (#Democrats and #Republicans) who visited #LasVegas in the past month, would have STAYED in Vegas?

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) February 24, 2016

Nevada Caucus

Final results of #Nevadacaucus may be delayed as "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." #gopcaucus #gop #lasvegas #politics

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) February 24, 2016

Forrest, the joke telling Corgi

Fire in Hole!

We are at DEFCON 2! Colonoscopy prep has commenced. I am locking myself in the bunker in 3 ... 2 ...

Forrest, the joke telling Corgi

Supreme Court

I would like to throw my hat into the ring to be the next Supreme Court Justice. Why?

A) I have never been a lawyer which means I wouldn’t use that darn legalese. Everyone should be able to easily understand my decisions.

B) I personally distrust all politicians and could care less whether they’re a Democrat, Republican, or Independent. No voting down party lines for me.

C) I have stayed overnight on several occasions at a Holiday Inn Express.

D) I am already wearing a robe most of the day around the house and on occasion in public, so the transaction to the high court would be very easy for me.

Forrest, the joke telling Corgi

The following message has not been approved by anyone.

I recorded the Democratic debate a couple of nights ago. I plan to watch the GOP debate live tonight while simultaneously replaying the Democrats contest screen in screen. I will mute the TV volume while blasting Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” during the debates. I have also relocated to Colorado for the night so that I will not be arrested for doing anything illegal while viewing the debates. By tomorrow morning I should know beyond the shadow of a doubt who I will vote for in the election. Or, I’ll be at Taco Bell eating several Breakfast Crunchwraps.

Disclaimer: Reference to any specific political party does not constitute my endorsement or disapproval of said group. Any views or opinions presented in this post are solely those of the author and a feeble attempt at making at least one person laugh. The author will not accept any personal attacks, name-calling, or such in the comments section of this post. Such comments will be deleted. If you are offended by this post, please get a life. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. This post is meant for humorous purposes only. This information is subject to change without notice. All rights reserved.

Whatever happened to Randy and Spiff?

Thanks to Rodney Ho and the AJC, you now know.  All you have to do is CLICK HERE.

The Revenant

I saw “The Revenant” last night starring Leonardo DiCaprio. A few quick observations on my part. This movie was intense, gory, beautifully filmed and well-acted. It reminded me of “Jeremiah Johnson” but with some scenes as graphically violent as parts of “Gangs of New York.” Definitely not a movie for the squeamish. The grizzly bear attack alone will keep my head swiveling every time I walk on nature trails for the rest of my life. And this final note: If you are planning for a dinner and a movie night and go to “Ted’s Montana Grill” for a bison burger, do yourself a favor and get your bison “well done.” You’ll thank me after seeing “The Revenant.”