Something smells?

Something interesting today when I #voted. Poll workers handed out red or blue #clothespins to put on your nose when you voted. #Primary

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) February 25, 2016

Forrest, the Corgi Comic

Stay in Vegas

Don't you wish that all the politicians (#Democrats and #Republicans) who visited #LasVegas in the past month, would have STAYED in Vegas?

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) February 24, 2016

Nevada Caucus

Final results of #Nevadacaucus may be delayed as "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." #gopcaucus #gop #lasvegas #politics

— Spiff Carner (@spiffhappens) February 24, 2016

Forrest, the joke telling Corgi

Fire in Hole!

We are at DEFCON 2! Colonoscopy prep has commenced. I am locking myself in the bunker in 3 ... 2 ...

Forrest, the joke telling Corgi

Supreme Court

I would like to throw my hat into the ring to be the next Supreme Court Justice. Why?

A) I have never been a lawyer which means I wouldn’t use that darn legalese. Everyone should be able to easily understand my decisions.

B) I personally distrust all politicians and could care less whether they’re a Democrat, Republican, or Independent. No voting down party lines for me.

C) I have stayed overnight on several occasions at a Holiday Inn Express.

D) I am already wearing a robe most of the day around the house and on occasion in public, so the transaction to the high court would be very easy for me.

Forrest, the joke telling Corgi

The following message has not been approved by anyone.

I recorded the Democratic debate a couple of nights ago. I plan to watch the GOP debate live tonight while simultaneously replaying the Democrats contest screen in screen. I will mute the TV volume while blasting Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” during the debates. I have also relocated to Colorado for the night so that I will not be arrested for doing anything illegal while viewing the debates. By tomorrow morning I should know beyond the shadow of a doubt who I will vote for in the election. Or, I’ll be at Taco Bell eating several Breakfast Crunchwraps.

Disclaimer: Reference to any specific political party does not constitute my endorsement or disapproval of said group. Any views or opinions presented in this post are solely those of the author and a feeble attempt at making at least one person laugh. The author will not accept any personal attacks, name-calling, or such in the comments section of this post. Such comments will be deleted. If you are offended by this post, please get a life. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. This post is meant for humorous purposes only. This information is subject to change without notice. All rights reserved.

Whatever happened to Randy and Spiff?

Thanks to Rodney Ho and the AJC, you now know.  All you have to do is CLICK HERE.

The Revenant

I saw “The Revenant” last night starring Leonardo DiCaprio. A few quick observations on my part. This movie was intense, gory, beautifully filmed and well-acted. It reminded me of “Jeremiah Johnson” but with some scenes as graphically violent as parts of “Gangs of New York.” Definitely not a movie for the squeamish. The grizzly bear attack alone will keep my head swiveling every time I walk on nature trails for the rest of my life. And this final note: If you are planning for a dinner and a movie night and go to “Ted’s Montana Grill” for a bison burger, do yourself a favor and get your bison “well done.” You’ll thank me after seeing “The Revenant.”

Randy & Spiff Audio Flashback

"Animal Activists versus Bikers"

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I was lucky enough to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens twice on Tuesday. Let’s just say that during the first viewing the “Dark Side” was the winner as the theater suffered three power outages (the first lasting an entire hour) and we entirely missed the final five minutes of the movie. However … The Force Awakened thanks to Disney and Regal Atlantic Station with a second showing that included free drinks and popcorn. And let me just say … The “Force” is indeed strong with this one! I confess that I enjoyed the original three Star Wars movies much, much more than the latest three. And “The Force Awakens” took me right back to where the fun began. Good storyline, popular characters, plenty of action, humor, a touch of a love story, lots of cool looking aliens and enough references to the early movies to bring plenty of laughs to the room. Even with the power outages during the first showing, I really enjoyed this movie. The plot may have been somewhat predictable and familiar, but there are some surprises as well. Without the interruptions I enjoyed “The Force Awakens” even more! It did help though seeing the final five minutes which, and I don’t believe I am giving anything away here, left it wide open for episode eight. I am already looking forward to that one. I’ll just make sure I call Georgia Power ahead of time to let them know when I’m heading to the theater to see it. Han Solo summed up this movie for me when he and Chewbacca stepped onto the Millennium Falcon and said, “Chewy … we’re home.”

Pete Rose

"MLB refuses to overturn Pete Rose's lifetime ban." 

Whoo-hoo! I just won 50 bucks!

Close Call!

Escaped unharmed tonight after I accidentally stumbled upon what appeared to be some sort of gang initiation ritual in downtown Acworth.

Braves trade longtime fans to Oakland

In an unprecedented move, the Atlanta Braves have traded away several longtime supporters for six minor league fans of the Oakland Athletics. Braves management stated, “We are attempting to build something special in 2017 and decided that a younger fan base is the way to go. We’re excited about the addition of these young minor league fans that will, in our opinion, blossom into fantastic big league supporters of the Atlanta Braves. We would like to thank the Braves fans we traded to Oakland for their years of support and wish them well in the future.” As part of the package, the A’s will also receive from Atlanta an elderly beer vendor and a senior female fan to be named later.

Paris

I am sickened. Thoughts and Prayers to everyone affected by these cowardly terrorist acts.

Let's Get Physical

Just went for my yearly physical. Note to self: Next time, wait until I get into the examination room to disrobe. Some very uncomfortable people in the waiting room.