Time Travel

March 10, 2024: I've done it! My experiment in Time Travel has proven successful. Unbeknownst to hundreds of millions of people who were fast asleep, I managed to push time forward in most of the United States by 60 minutes. This will no doubt cause mass confusion and likely a decline in Sunday morning Church attendance. I must now somehow find a way to reverse this forward time travel. If my calculations are correct, it will take months before I'm able to harness the curvature of time. Hopefully I'll be able to return to absolute time in the fall. --- Professor Spiff Carner (No relation to Spaceman Spiff)